This is a picture of Charlotte putting on a pair of socks. At 8:30am, it is already her second pair of socks for the day. And, as this is the exact time that we need to leave for school, I am less than impressed with her. She has to change the socks though. One of her teachers has taught her that if she tucks her pants into her socks, then they won’t ride up when she puts her snow pants on over top. The blue socks are too short for the job.
Don’t get me wrong, this little personal care trick is a valuable lesson for a child to learn in early childhood as snow pant ride up can be a source of serious discomfort and cold shins. That being said, Charlotte follows this discipline with such rigor that it is comparable to religious fundamentalism. She is completely inflexible on this issue. If you try to argue with her about the necessity of getting to school on time over the fact that you can fix your socks later, she has a well organized, and incredibly articulate position on why it has to be done before leaving for school. And she’s right.
My problem is that I don’t have the mental agility to do battle with her over this stuff in the morning. Maybe we are feeding her too much fresh fruit. Maybe its the 10+hours of sleep she gets every night. Maybe its the vitamin D that her pediatrician has her on. But she is sharp as a tack. An intellectual ninja.
There was an important lesson in the socks for me today. Its a lesson I am learning again and again and again. Particularly from Charlotte – and increasingly from Ruby. I will get out of it whatever I put into it. For some lame reason – the sock thing really chaffed me this morning – and I tried to push her past it – which she would have none of. The thing is, once we were into it about the socks, the arguing didn’t stop there. We disagreed about a number of things on the way to school. And I got more static from her when I picked her up in the afternoon. I’m not sure why I needed to win on the socks this morning, but I can tell you it wasn’t worth it. I am still searching for those ways to redirect her in these moments of tension. To mitigate her intensity with an appealing, dignity maintaining, and mutually beneficial back up option. To respond to her strength with an equal but not oppositional position. And to learn to let slide what needs to slide.
3 Ginger Snaps 