This is a picture of my new friend, Pete, pushing Charlotte on the swing. Hopefully, the picture is good enough that you can notice just a hint of slack in the chains that hold the swing up, indicating that he really didn’t hold back. You might also be able to make out the look on Charlotte’s face. Equal parts thrill and surprise. All the makings of a good underdog. To the left of Charlotte is her buddy Travis, Pete’s son.
One of the nice things about having all this time at home is getting to know the people in my neighbourhood WAY better than I ever knew them before. And them getting to know me and my kids. Pete, for example, has gotten to know my kids pretty well. Take this story as evidence. Travis (Pete’s son) and Charlotte go to the same nursery school and every Thursday, Pete picks Travis up. I’m picking Charlotte up at the same time. This past winter, Pete took Charlotte on the streetcar pretty much every Thursday in January and February to go skating at a local outdoor rink. She came home rosey cheeked, hungry, and exhausted. A nice combination. Plus, Pete’s a solid hockey player – so she also learned a few things about skating that I couldn’t have taught her. But that’s not the story I wanted to tell. This is: This past Thursday, Pete stopped on his way to pick up and bought a variety of granola bars to bring to the park as snacks. When you bring snacks to the park, you have to bring enough so that, roughly, 30% of the kids there can have some. They are like seaguls – food comes out, and they just show up. Anyway – Pete bought this random assortment of granola bars and he gets them out at the park and Ruby is at his side within moments quizing him about what he has, what it tastes like, and can she have some. For the record, its a coconut-chocolate bar, and it looks good. Presumably, Ruby was able to ascertain this from some distance and she knows she needs to act fast before someone else snags her bite. As it turns out, that someone else was Pete. He was trying to sneak in a small bite for himself – fair enough, he’s just come from work – and he’s already distributed the rest of the coconut chocolate bar to some other kids. What does Pete do? He does what any father would do in this situation. He bites off a mouthful for himself and hands the rest to Ruby.
When its your own kid, this kind of food sharing seems natural enough. I do it all the time with my bunch. A shared bite here or there. But it probably pushes the boundaries of more than a few people who are not so keen on sharing food because it might lead to sharing germs. From my perspective, I couldn’t have been happier to watch someone, another adult in my neighbourhood, treat my kids just as I would treat them myself. It was such a simple act, and maybe I’m reading too much into it – but it also comes loaded with notions of familiarity, caring, nurturing, putting kids first, affection, no fear of recourse, benevolence… I could go on. I thought it was awesome though – both that he was willing to share it and that Ruby was willing to take it. These days, it is impossible to walk by their place without talking about Pete, Travis, Christina (Pete’s wife, Travis’ mom, who has also been tremendously kind and loving towards my kids over the past year) and Buddy (their cat).
Anyway – it is pretty great to have another dad around. Mom’s are awesome. And there are some amazing ones in this neighbourhood who look out for my kids, and one another’s, like they were their own. I’m in debt to many of them for helping me learn the ropes this year as I settled into this role of stay-at-home-parent (dare I say, house husband?) But there is something different about the way that dad’s interact with kids – their own and other people’s – that just makes them, well, dads.
p.s. I had hoped to post this in time for father’s day and didn’t get around to it. I was probably too busy slicing apples or sweeping the floor or watching Community. Regardless, a happy belated father’s day to all the amazing dad’s I know. Especially mine.
3 Ginger Snaps 