On any given day I endure a number of gross experiences. Most of them involve basic human functions. Usually, not my own. And, most of them don’t really phase me. The most painful of these experiences are the ones I inflict on myself.
I have a bad habit of eating up whatever left overs the kids leave behind. Leftover Cheerios and raisins on the tray of Arden’s highchair, for example. The crusts of bread that Ruby leaves behind. The pretzels that Charlotte didn’t eat at lunch. It is not a healthy habit. And it has contributed, in no small way, to the paunch I am developing around the middle. I’m doing what I can to curb this behavior. And experiences like today’s should help.
Although Arden has been slow to eat she’s definitely growing in her interest and these days whenever I put her in the stroller I tend to give her an arrowroot cookie for the ride. She likes them. I did exactly this as I left to pick Ruby up from camp this morning around 11:30 AM. Of course, I always take Arden with me into the building when I pick Ruby up and leave the stroller outside. As I was putting Arden back in the stroller after picking Ruby up I noticed the arrowroot cookie sitting on the stroller seat and without even thinking I grabbed it and put it in my mouth. Dumb. Instantly my tastebuds told me that although this was an arrowroot cookie there was something different about it. It took a moment but then it came through loud and clear… This cookie tasted the same way that diapers smell. With this taste in my mouth my short-term memory went into overdrive as I tried to recall when the last time was that I had changed Arden’s diaper. Just before we left to get Ruby. Ok. Enough time for her to do some damage but she’d already exploded once this morning and two big dumps in a single morning Are not that common. I thought I could be safe from turd in mouth. I picked Arden up to check… Yes her diaper was still clean I was “ok”. I did my best to get all the cookie out of my mouth. Ruby was quite perplexed to see me spitting it onto the ground. I had no idea how to explain why I was doing this so I didn’t even try. All I knew was that I needed to get home and find some way to expel this taste from my mouth. Of course, Ruby rode her scooter to camp this morning. She is doing her best but her pace on the scooter can best be described as glacial. We weren’t going anywhere fast and a clean mouth was nowhere in sight for me. This was the longest trip home ever. Longer than the midwinter treks through the slush. Longer than the walk home with the screaming hungry baby. Longer then the walk home from the mis-adventure to the library having forgotten the library card at home and having to explain, again and again, to the inquisitive five-year-old how books are borrowed. We weren’t even a third of the way home yet and my mouth still definitely tasted the same way that diaper smells. Clean diaper smell. But diaper smell all the same.
We usually stop at this Raspberry bush on the way home from camp. I do my best to teach Ruby to exercise restraint and not pick every ripe berry she can see-we have to leave some for the other kids. But today was no holds barred. I picked every berry I could find. I remember sharing a few with Ruby but mostly she had to fend for herself and pick the low hanging fruit. Thank goodness raspberries are tart. They did the trick. Of course, I still brushed my teeth extensively when I got home – but I just can’t imagine how long the walk would have been if not for this raspberry bush.
Lesson learned.
3 Ginger Snaps 