I have a number of sidelines that I dabble in. Worms, for example. In the case of worms, things never really went very far for me. But they do eat a large portion of our kitchen scraps. And the kids like looking at them. For a while, I was also doing some ghost writing. I was working with a school administrator writing her communications pieces. I have since let that go as I realized I needed to focus on the camp dream – but while it lasted, it was a relatively fun way to exercise my brain and earn enough money that Ruby and I could have a Jamaican patty for lunch every now and then. I also have a sideline as a wedding officiant. I’m licensed by the province of Ontario to perform wedding ceremonies and this past weekend, I performed my eighth ceremony.
Each one of these sidelines has a common element – they take me out of the every day and into some other head space, if only for a little while. On Saturday, I had the opportunity to spend about 45mins driving in each direction to the wedding I was officiating. I was incredibly grateful for this time and it was interesting for me to track how the time passed. Leaving the driveway was all about having a few moments to myself to think on a focused topic with no threat of interruption. I got to spend the entire drive in my own thought process and, with a little help from Bruce Springstein, I arrived at the ceremony feeling quite refreshed. I hadn’t had to wipe any butts or dissolve any quarrels or locate any missing toys for almost a whole hour. It was a nice feeling. As I got back in the car for the drive home, I was looking forward to similar experience but after being in the car for only a few minutes, I realized that my head was so full of ideas swimming around that having my own thoughts to myself was becoming a bit of a burden and that’s when I turned the music up loud. Now it was no longer about uninterrupted thinking – now it was about no thinking at all!
September is over. And it was a whirling, emotional roller coaster, exhausting, back to routines, find your new place, intense and full of excitement kind of a month. So much happened for all of us. Charlotte started Grade 1. Ruby had to learn how to stay at school for a couple of full days each week. Arden had to cope with being dragged around from one school or class or park to another. We all had to let go of the relaxed and easy going ways of the summer and find a new sense of rhythm. It has been emotionally tough for all of us. There have been tears and fights every which way – sometimes about the most innocuous subject, other times about real struggles. And while this week, with the start of swimming lessons, the new things to adapt to just keep on coming, I think I can say with some level of confidence, that we are almost settled into the routine of wake up eat go to school get picked up from school eat go back to school get picked up from school eat go to a park come home eat have a bath read stories go to bed repeat. In so many ways, it is a nice routine. Predictable. Full of friends and outside and snacks and adventure. All in our neighbourhood. Usually in the comfort of our own home. And in other ways, its a hard routine. So many transitions. So many expectations. Blurry lines between what’s mandatory and optional. Having to say goodbye to mom every morning. Having to make new friends. Having to be okay with leaving the park first. In some ways, its a lot to ask.
Through it all, what is most remarkable, is that I can see the kids growing and changing right before my eyes. Ruby walked all the way to Charlotte’s school and then on to her school this morning. Arden is scooting around on the floor completely independently. Charlotte is packing her own lunch on the days that she stays. All of us are evolving and often it is an impressive sight to behold.
Pictures:
1. Parachute games at Nuit Blanch
2. Ruby with cotton candy at the local school’s fall fair
3. Charlotte on a pony ride at the fall fair
4. My drive home from the wedding on Saturday afternoon (insert Bruce Springstein here)
5. Charlotte with her buddy Travis at the local library on a rainy Tuesday afternoon
3 Ginger Snaps 