A friend of mine suggested that I view these as a lesson in acceptance. Acceptance of what, I’m not entirely sure. Although he’s probably right.
Turns out I have some tendinitis in my right foot. After walking around a bunch on Saturday, and some more on Saturday night, it flared up. So much so, in fact, that it prevented me from sleeping and I had to wake up Hil in the middle of the night to ask for drugs, an ice pack, and a plan to go to the hospital in the morning. That was Sunday.
It is Wednesday now and my foot is feeling considerably better. I’ve been out of the game for the past 3 days – pretty much sitting on my duff all day long – and it has certainly improved the situation. Lots of ice. A friend down the street, who has some serious knowledge about the human body, he’s a chiropracter, did some work on my foot last night and that helped too. Still – I’m a ways off from climbing any trees or jumping off the swing or even walking the kids to school. Which brings me back to acceptance.
We’ve made arrangements with friends, family, and neighbours to cover off school drop offs in the morning, pick ups in the afternoon, and that crucial couple of hours between pick up time and dinner where if you don’t get the kids tired out and adequatley fed, the rest of your night is completely shot. And so far, with me pretty much staying completely out of it, things have been going fairly well. So I’m working on accepting that. Accepting help from others isn’t easy. Of course, I feel grateful. But at times I also feel awkward – not really knowing how or when I will have the chance to return the good deed and what makes for a sufficient thank you.
I’m also working on accepting that this week we have started putting Arden into a sleeping bag in her bed because she was breaking out of her swaddle in the middle of the night and getting cold. She isn’t sleeping nearly as soundly as she was when she was in the swaddle. Not at night, and not in the day time either. Thankfully, I don’t really have anywhere to go this week – so I’m working on accepting Arden’s frequent cries for attention while she should be snoozing. Whether it be at 2am, 4am, or any other time throughout the day.
Acceptance has its upsides. Having not much to do has allowed me to sit at the dining room table each morning this week to watch Arden gum away at Cheerios. And today, she made the leap to frozen blueberries. Which she really seemed to enjoy. More drool. A blue chin. A stained bib. Whatever. I’m just glad she is eating. And that she likes fruit. I love fruit.
But when I put the blueberries and the cheerios and the ice packs away. And after I’m done thanking someone else at the door for picking Charlotte up for school, I suppose what I am really working on accepting is that I quit my job on Friday last. It was a big decision. One that Hilary and I talked about for weeks. And in the end, we just couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have both of us working full time. It seemed like it would be too hectic for family life. Too soon for Arden – who would only be 1 when I went back to work. Too much to fit in to the weekend in terms of chores around the house and cooking. Too much distance from Charlotte who is leanring how to read and speak in English and French at the same time. Too much of lots of things that aren’t neccessarily the most important things and not enough of most things that are the most important things. And being home this week with pretty clear instructions to stay off my foot as much as possible has given me plenty of space to work on accepting this new role of full time dad without anything else on the horizon but more full time dad. Its a strange feeling for someone who is used to always looking ahead to what’s next. And I’m kind of excited about it.
3 Ginger Snaps 